The Power of the Dominant Pussy

If you ask anyone in a modern-day world about who holds the sexual ‘power’ in a relationship, the majority of people would say it’s the one with the pussy… the female. Because she’s the one who (normally) controls what and when anything is happening to her vagina.
It seems to be the running joke, as we’ve seen in countless standup’ routines and TV/movie comedies. It’s oh so funny how the man is always horny and the woman ‘has a headache’. The man did something stupid so now he’s punished. The man is led by his dick and the woman, by her heart. Etc, etc. If she’s not in the mood, it’s just not happening. It’s this sexual unpredictability that gives women her so-called ‘power’. Let’s look at this further, shall we?

It’s a largely accepted stereotype that men are always horny and will fuck anything, while women are not and will not. This imbalance is oftentimes the foundation of stress and incompatibility in a typical vanilla relationship. But this same imbalance is a critical requirement of creating desire within a sexual femdom relationship. Supply and demand. Basic. It doesn’t matter WHY it is what it is. It doesn’t matter that women are turned on by what they FEEL and men are generally turned on by what they SEE. Venus Mars shit here, nothing new. Marriage counselors can retire on this principal alone.
But while vanilla folks whine about it… FLR D/s folks wallow in it.

Recently, I was asked to reinstate an old fuck-buddy type dynamic with someone I’ve known for years. He reached out since was moving away soon and had gnawing regrets about not exploring deeper D/s play with me. I actually enjoyed nakedness with this person and we had a few sexy D/s scenes, but life happens and our time was cut short of delving deeper into his vulnerabilities, as well as his virgin asshole. So when he offered me his attention (and his ass) this time around, I instantly got excited.
One, because he was super fun to fuck, (such a perfect, pretty cock) but also because I want to be the one. His first. It’s the most satisfying feeling there is.
I love the idea of being the person who gives someone their first heavenly experience of something that could otherwise be a total shit show. Let’s be honest here… there are a LOT of dominant people who have NO idea wtf they’re doing. Just go on Fetlife and see for yourself. It’s chock full of submissives with horror stories and near PTSD. It’s appalling. And it’s why I was on there for only 1 day and said nope.

Anyway, I LOVE taking someone’s fear and turning it into lust. I want to crush myths, explain the psychology, expose the nerves, make memories. I want to create and be part of an experience that might never happen for someone. It doesn’t have to be mind-blowing crazy, but simply memorable. It’s that kind of intimacy that I crave.
If there was one word to explain why I love this lifestyle, it’s intimacy. I get off on the most personal connection of it all. Which is also what makes THIS type of femdom different from the more abrasive femdom. The interconnection, the sexiness, the desire.
And it’s what happened between me and this man the first time we met several years ago. We had a VERY intimate experience that left him reeling in the most intense subspace, of which he’s still in awe. It’s why we had several sexy times a couple of years after that, and why he’s asked me to go further with him, now.

But after my initial excitement of his most recent request, I had to really think about what it entails. I thought about what I’d gain from this short-term exchange. And why I fell away from him at earlier times. He’s not someone to have any ‘real’ relationship, for multiple reasons, plus he is one of those ‘poly’ folks. (That last part is more of a turn off than Crocs.) But he’s wonderfully curious, respectful, and did I mention he’s got a great cock? So I told him I’d let him know, and I slept on it. Because I was still unsure how much he was willing to actually submit, and not top from the bottom, which is what the majority of ‘submissive’ men ultimately want to do.

Here’s the thing… 99% of men automatically assume that kinky scenes will be the MAIN physical encounter they will share with me, the second they learn I’m a dominant kinkster. The very INSTANT they know I’m into D/s, the idea of an adult loving relationship flies out the window and I’m now the sole provider of all their fantasies, and they assume that my ‘serving’ him is what gets me off.
This belief is totally backwards, and I blame standard femdom porn.
I’m sorry, but who the fuck is serving who, now?
Really? So, one person is doing all the physical work, planning, effort, creativity, energy, muscle strength, tying-untying, balancing, flogging, leading around, etc, while the other person just lays back and ‘lets her do what she wants’, and this is somehow considered the sub serving the domme? Hmm.

This is the thing that truly pisses me off. Men who believe their role is to literally not DO anything… to simply receive all their pleasure and then claim they don’t know what they should do, so they don’t even attempt to do anything. As if they’re inhuman, without feelings, without any clue how to interact with the person they desire. This is what I mean by the domme serving the sub. FFS, this pisses me off.

Sorry, but if you want to just lay around and be ‘done unto’, you either need to pay my ass, or go to another PROFESSIONAL domina. Oh, the naïve subwannabes, if you have a laundry list of shit you want someone to do TO you, you’re looking for scenes, not a true D/s relationship. Gah, I could go on about this forever.
I’m steering myself off into a tangent here, so I’ll pull myself back to the subject at hand. Pussy. I’ll get back to all that power roles some other time.

See, I was on the fence because I know myself. Once I have a nice cock and a soft mouth and tongue at my regular disposal, oh MAN… I’m gonna wear them out! I’m insatiable when I have the circumstances in which to be. I’m perfectly content in a drought, but thirsty as fuck when surrounded by water. When I have something, I WALLOW in that shit!
‘So much sex’ is part of the whole allure. Serving me should be my partner’s goal, and in return, I give him the memories he wants. Win-win. Of course love is part of a serious relationship, but that’s not part of every relationship, and certainly NOT part of this one.
When involved with me, my sub’s desired goal is my personal attention to him. My validation is his desired goal. My pussy is his desired goal. My pleasure is his desired goal. All these things are melded into a sultry dynamic oozing with sensuality and wetness. From the stringy drool of his gaping gagged mouth, to the slipperiness of my swollen hole while getting tongue fucked. All this is MY allure to this dynamic.
And since the sexual chemistry between me and this particular man had been excellent in the past, I said yes. Yes to the next month filled with tons of delicious nakedness and restraints and orgasms (mine) and blindfolds and his sex canal finally stretched and filled with my anatomically-correct rubber cock. Yes.

The truth is, I am attracted to being the object of desire/attraction. It’s almost reactive. I think everyone is far more interested in those who are interested in them, no? I want you to want me. Cheap Trick sang it because it’s universal.
Doesn’t the knowledge of being wanted heighten ones interest? Lust feeds lust. It’s a circle. My philosophy is that people should yearn for each other. People should want experiences to happen, whatever they may be. Everyone should WANT what they want, and they should want TO want. It’s part of the exchange. To allow and examine one’s desire. Half-assedness is how the regular world functions, and it’s got NO place in situations that I choose.

Submissives should YEARN. Fueled by their desire for… physical sensations / praise / acceptance / pleasure / validation / nurturing / emotional satisfaction. They should feel compelled to interact with me on a deeper level. And because creating desire is my prime directive, I feed off that yearning in a symbiotic manner. And at the very center of this desire and intimacy… is my vagina. Because without its involvement, there is no true intimacy. Period.

Now, others may judge their connection to one another on other things, such as common interests or goals or backgrounds, etc. Some people can have less-than-great sexual chemistry and STILL manage to create a physical connection of which they’re content. Not me.
If I’m to have ANY sexual relationship with someone, my pussy is at the center of it. It’s where our most primitive sexual connection resides. It’s from where my femininity stems, the apex of our intimacy. It’s where I can receive and not have to give. It’s the most sacred, private area that is reserved for the most special of people. And it should be valued as such.
This is a popular shared idea among those in our sect of BDSM. And why pussy worship is a commonly-required activity. It’s termed WORSHP, because of all the reasons I just listed. To worship is to show devotion and adoration. When we are enamored with something, we want to KNOW everything about it. We want to immerse ourselves in it.

On a physical level, we express this curiosity and excitement when we kiss each other passionately. We explore our mouths, softly, aggressively, lingeringly. We delve into each other with our tongues, feeling the softness and wetness, learning about the other person with every lap or thrust. Caressing flesh and teeth and lips. Breathing breath and feeling as if you can climb into one another. Making note of the reaction of the other person, their taste, their vulnerability. Good god, do our minds wander when we have passionate make-out sessions. Rest assured that both parties are thinking about genitals when we tongue fuck each other’s mouths. It’s why making out is such excellent foreplay.

So, stereotype or not, the truth is that the vagina holds the ultimate power, and it should be treated as such. A glorious dominant pussy can and should be her sub’s reward… but it can also be his punishment. Access to it is the commodity used to negotiate, and a wise domme knows this well.
It is the door, the entrance, the gate to the most divine. My partners understand that eating my pussy is the most basic, non-negotiable activity we’ll share. It will ALWAYS be expected prior to ANY other sexual activity, and oftentimes immediately after we meet. As much as I love cock, I will never engage in any actual vaginal sex, or will I touch his bare cock or ass unless I am tended to first. There can be no sexual relationship without it. I’ll tease until we’re both dripping, but nothing is really happening until his face is between my thighs for a lengthy period of time.

So, I agree, and on our third meeting, we’re vaxxed (and still tested) so we can kiss and get sloppy. I’m a germaphobe and he’s proven to be SUPER clean, so it’s like our pre-pandemic days. And there’s grinding and kissing, clothed cock stroking and teasing. Pinning and scratching, sexiness and nakedness. It’s familiar, he’s familiar.
I’m quite confident in both my body and my actions, and I like being admired, even when it’s from inches away. Surely soft caresses and stares, light thigh kisses and hot breath on my ass is the precursor to a wide wet tongue on my slippery pink skin, as it’s been in the past. Surely, he must be teasing himself when I’ve given him the all-clear. His hesitancy is new, but I’ll allow it for now, however, my patience is wearing thin.

Hours go by, and before we take a break from our entanglement he asks if I’m going to fuck him in his ass that night. I laugh. Um, no, we build up to that over the course of the next month. He knows this. We eat snacks, talk, browse videos, and I can’t keep my hands off him. So I stroke his lovely tool while he speaks of serious things. And finally, he stops talking when the point is reached where he wants to pounce.
He asks if we can fuck. I make him tell me what he wants.
* I enjoy making my bois verbalize their lust for me… giving them the OK to tell me how horny they are. I want to hear how badly they want me. It’s especially fun when they’re shy and it’s not natural. I have him repeat himself, yet I don’t move.
‘Good’, I say, ‘I want to straddle you, but it’s conditional, hun’.

I’m confused that he expects penetration without feasting on my body first. This person who asked me to join him for our third go-round in 6 years, the same person with whom I’ve smothered with my crotch leaving him gasping for air, on multiple occasions. The man who knows my body intimately and whose tongue has been in every hole. Who knows how I operate. Who I’ve collared, spanked, slapped, tied up, milked, humiliated, choked, and fucked for hours.
He looks at his hand, his thumb buried inside my pussy and says, ‘Ahh, yes, I need to make you wet, yes’. He proceeds to drip spit onto his hand on my crotch and stares longingly at my body.
‘Fuck, I’d love to taste you’.
‘Then, do it! What the fuck are you waiting for?’
‘Because I can’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because my rule.’

My hand was massaging his rock-hard, freshly-condomed cock, which I was dying to mount. I let go of him immediately. This is where one would hear a record scratch and then crickets if it were a sitcom.
Ahh… here it is. NOW it all made sense. The reason we haven’t fucked 15 ways til Sunday 3 hours ago because he’s hasn’t asked/attempted to put his mouth on me.
Ohhhh, your rule. I see. You can’t break your new rule. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, you thought you told me? Yeah no. Wait, rule about what, now? Of not exchanging bodily fluids. Ohhhh….. right. Why the fuck?
So wait a minute, let me get this straight, person who has known me for YEARS.
Who made a rule where you can’t exchange fluids, but you can spit on my pussy?

Here we are at a standstill with his brand new rule… that he unilaterally created… withOUT telling me. A rule he conveniently forgot to mention when we asked me to be part of his sexy kinky world again… a rule he didn’t mention when we planned this night to be the first of many naked evenings.
A rule that slipped his mind after I brought over a bag of toys and restraints and cages the visit prior. Or the pg-rated visit prior to that.
A ‘rule’ he specifically created so he can have very infrequent vanilla sex with another women he sees once a month. A ‘rule’ he made to pacify her so she’d ‘allow’ him to fuck me, since he met her just a few weeks earlier than when he reached out to me this time around. The me who lives directly across the street from him and sees him once a week, at least, who he’s known for years and who he’s ASKED back.

Oh, you selfish little man. You want ALL the cake? Your way? Ugh.
Well, that’s unfortunate. All of it.
Unfortunate that he lied to me, because he KNEW that I’d never even give his proposal one nanosecond of consideration if he had told me his mouth wouldn’t be touching me. He KNEW that I may not have even allowed him to worship my feet and stroke my legs when we were still masked and seated apart on the couch on the two prior visits. He knew there would have not been ANY visits if I had known about this.

And that was the end of that.
I calmly told him that this was unacceptable because he knows better. He swore up and down that he told me (he knows he didn’t) and he sadly got dressed. I gathered my things from the floor and couch, fridge and counter, and explained how disappointed I am in him, as a person. To be so manipulative and small. Reminding him it was he who called ME back to spend more time with me for very specific reasons. I hugged him goodbye, wished him luck, and that was that.
Then I proceeded to thank myself for having my own ‘rule’.
Where I come first.
Literally and figuratively.

It’s only a matter of time before I hear from him once again, probably right before he leaves or perhaps once he’s settled. Most likely with an apology and yet another confession of regret for crappy decisions he’s made regarding my involvement in his life.
Is he a submissive? Absolutely not. Could he behave submissively? Yes.
Were his intentions real when he wanted to reconnect? I think so.
Was he confused as to the way I work? Yes, though I can’t understand why.
Because in his insistence to be in total control of himself and the situation this time, he inadvertently gave the power to the vanilla chick he JUST met. I mean really, she should be wielding the crop.
I will NEVER give ANYONE an angry ultimatum. If I’m not chosen, then I don’t belong there.

And life goes on.

Brave Enough

I hope you meet someone brave enough to love you.

---

This little message above was sent to me a few years ago on Tumblr. The best intentions were behind it, I’m sure.
But for once, I had no response. I was left blank.
No smart-assed reply, no insightful reasoning as to what was meant, no defending my position (which is where one might instinctively want to go). 

Because I knew why.
I’ve heard this before, but this was the first time the term ‘brave’ was used. Brave. It’s extremely descriptive.
And it sat on me with the weight of hundred planets, that I haven’t yet shaken off. And it makes me sad… still.
Because, so do I.

15 Photos Of A 60-Year-Old Domme with Her Client

This is what 60 looks like.

Domme Sandra LaMorgese interviewed by By Shelley Emling and Damon Dahlen for The Huffington Post in 2016.

15 Unbelievable Photos Of A 60-Year-Old Dominatrix With Her Client

Naturally Dominant

I’m asked all the time if I’m ‘naturally’ dominant. And without blinking an eye, I say yes. Because I am.
I can’t imagine NOT being this way and having learned it, or pretending, or had to ‘fake it til I make’ it.
And although I’ve had dominant tendencies all my life, it became indisputable after being immersed in the alternative sexy lifestyle in my 30s. But it took me until I was in my late 40s to truly and fully embrace that my relationships MUST be this way, in order for me to allow real love to grow. Any other type of normal intimate relationship with normal sex and normal dynamics could NEVER work with me.
But up until that point, I felt that I could be in a ‘normal’ relationship if I HAD to be.

Which is a weird thing to say, because it’s not like I anticipated a gun to my head, forcing me to love and fuck a vanilla guy. But I mean, if I happen to wind up loving a kinky dude who was NOT fully into the overall female-led protocol, I thought I could adapt and settle. As long as the sex was hot and we had some D/s sexy time every so often… AND he made me laugh, was crazy smart, creative, and was nice to me. Ya know, all the standard shit.
For many many years, I truly believed that I could be with an average kinkster and be content. But after going that route over and again, I finally accepted that was a lie.

When I was first formally introduced to this lifestyle, I was elated that there were names for the attitude I had in regards to the way I related to sex and men, and I was excited that there were so many other people who were into the same shit I was. And when I further discovered this type of loving female domination, I was validated that my ability to take charge and be the doer, the natural leader and care-taker, wasn’t just me feeling entitled or domineering. Which is exactly how vanilla folks would put it, because they didn’t know better or see what was happening behind the scenes.

I’ve always been an independent thinker and thrived on being different than the norm. I was always attracted to things that were bizarre and unusual, but I was never an actual ‘rebel’. Not with any intention anyway. Only when people or situations were fucked up, did I make waves. And I was never scared to make waves.

In all aspects of my life, school/work/play, I’d been the one to try to change things when rules were wrong, and I used my voice when people or situations needed one. Consequently, people began to expect me to step up whenever a situation needed some help, because I handled it. When a group or circumstance needed a leader, I was right there, don’t have to ask me twice.
My ability to do this was also because I seemed to be blessed by the ability to verbalize what everyone was thinking, but never had the balls to say. On top of all that, my often crippling overwhelming sense of empathy made me FEEL as much as I thought, and since I could see things from a different perspective, it was pretty easy for me to explain abstract ideas in a way anyone could understand.

These qualities made me a born therapist, a fixer, the one who can see both sides of complicated situations. I grabbed the lead and forged the way by being bold enough to call people/situations out on their shit.

Being in charge came naturally and easily, because I’m a doer. I don’t just think about shit, I do it. I’ve had my own businesses, homes, can change a tire, put in ceiling fans, replace toilets, build shelving, sew costumes, make things. All kinds of stuff. I also felt comfortable being on stage, having all eyes on me while I perform or talk. I liked having the attention of others, whether it be a crowd of one person. Maybe I had/have a teeny bit of exhibitionism in me, but I’m an outgoing introvert and I’m super happy working behind the spotlight, as well. Hell, I don’t know.
Maybe it’s an only child thing. Who knows.

In a non-sexual way, I never felt ‘domineering’ or controlling for the sake of being controlling. Ever. It wasn’t just for fun and it wasn’t at the expense of anyone. If I was ever (or am) controlling, it was/is ALWAYS because I’m acting in the best interest of the OTHER person and never for the sole benefit of myself. I only wanted to share what I knew to be better or more proficient, because I KNEW better. I either learned it from somewhere or I experienced it before, but in any case, I KNEW better.

I don’t just say shit to hear myself talk, and I HATE the risk of being wrong… so when I say something, I tend to know wtf I’m talking about. And I suppose it can be misinterpreted as being controlling, but the intention behind it was not about me. Unless it decidedly was. Or during sex.

My most distinguishable ‘dominant’ give-away was how I was sexually different than other women. From the very first ‘real’ boyfriend I had at 17, I’d say I was the initiator 75% of the time. And also, since day 1, my sex drive was higher than 90% of my partners. Men would constantly be surprised when I wasn’t satisfied by the typical sequence of (male-centered) sexual events. These two qualities seem to be ‘dominant’ traits.
Who knew?

I’ve always loved cock, so the idea of it being RIGHT THERE and not getting to play with it at the drop of a hat, is something I struggle with.
HELLO! Men have these amazing sex tools that I can totally control and enjoy, so how can I possibly not use it all the time? Unfathomable.
And giving head was something I always liked doing, (so much power) so I never considered it a chore. However, if I blow a guy, I’m sure as shit gonna fuck him and/or have him make me come. Optimally, both.
Only on the most special of occasions would I allow him to come for the mere sake of doing something for him only. I mean, if I’m there WITH him, why does he automatically think it ends with him? I never subscribed to the idea that when the man blows his load, sex is over… regardless if I came or don’t want to stop.
Who the fuck in their right mind thinks that’s OK?
This isn’t the middle ages.
AND… if your cock is dead for whatever reasons, then DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH ME, or else that’s just selfish. You have hands and a mouth and objects. Use them!

It took me years to realize that this might be a dominant trait.

Unfortunately for most men, my sexual appetite MUST be fulfilled in order for me to feel content. I’d get angry if sex would be ‘over’ and I didn’t orgasm. However, if the dude made an energetic and willful attempt and I didn’t come, I’d be only a little disgruntled, because at least he considered me and TRIED. In those cases, I’ll just say they weren’t that good because it’s not that difficult to make me come. Maybe they’re super inexperienced, which is OK, as long as they ADMIT it and didn’t claim to be good.

I’m kinda disgusted by men who claim they’re good in bed or say they have a big cock. Because 99% of them are wrong. No clue as to whom are they comparing themselves. Did they conduct a survey or watch a lot of gay porn? What makes men so cocky and confident about their skills or their size?
Honestly, it’s the ones who allude to nothing that you need to pay attention to. They’re the quiet ones who know the deal and let their bodies speak for themselves.
OK, all of that is another post for another time, so let me get back to me talking about being a bitch in bed.

If a man didn’t even TRY to make me come, or if he came and thought our sex session was finished, I would be pissed. I’m not even subtle about it. I mean, I’d become visibly disappointed.
The idea that he could be so selfish and inconsiderate, was enough to stop talking with him immediately and get physically away. It’s rough, I admit it. It’s really the only time when I can be SUCH a bitch.
But seriously… wtf? These men are NOT alone in this naked playtime, so where do they get off thinking it revolves around or finishes with their cum?
Perhaps it’s vanilla mainstream porn and/or the pop culture media and/or their idiot friends and/or the females that they’ve fucked prior to me. It’s messed up.
So yeah, I didn’t know this attitude was a ‘dominant’ thing for many years.
But it really is.

Another activity I love to do, that I would NOT consider a dominant trait, but more of a ‘top’ behavior, is eating ass. I mean, I really love man-ass. I love man-body all together, but man-ass is usually lean and pretty and so fucking inviting. I love man-bodies that are larger than me and muscular, because making them fall weak by doing sexy things to them, is the biggest turn on in the world. And I am super turned on by muscles. Oomph…
And before the time when I would ever call myself kinky, I would shock the men who’s asses were the objects of my desire. Now, it’s expected to the degree that I can’t consider a relationship with someone whose ass is ‘one way only’ or off limits. Nope.

Something else that men would find odd is how I sometimes I seemed a little ‘aggressive’ when I would initiate sex without any waste-of-time bullshit. My dates would be shocked when I’d say “I wanna fuck you” before the entree even got to the table, or at the end of a lovely evening.
Hint: most women know this within minutes… but when I was sure of it, I’d verbalize it to him, because why wait?
* Also, I have NEVER gone out with anyone I didn’t ALREADY know I could be naked with. I never had the kind of time where you physically go to a place to meet a stranger and THEN attempt to get to know them. What kind of INSANITY is that?
I do all the ‘getting to know you’ weeks or months before ever meeting anyone, so if I was willing to meet him, then I ALREADY knew I wanted to fuck them (if they remained true to their online persona).
This might seem like a ‘control issue’ to some folks, but I call it proficient and smart.

Another trait that comes to mind is during sex when I’d surprise my partner by flipping him over so I could be on top. Or I’d pin his wrists over his head and nuzzle my face into his neck or armpit or bite a nipple.
Or if someone tried to playfully wrestle me, I’d put up an actual fight because I HATE being restrained or pinned down. Not only did I surprise men by my squirrely strength, but it bruised some egos, as well.

On that same note, I don’t mind when he initiates or touches me sexy-like and moves me around to do things differently. I like being the receiver of his lust. But something I really HATE is being teased with orgasm denial. Don’t EVEN consider being all lovey to my body with all kinds of gooey sexiness, making me all loose and vulnerable and then fucking STOP because you saw it on some video. No. That’s some toppy shit right there. I don’t give a shit if you love it being done to you. Don’t do it to me. Because I will completely stop everything with you.
You want to stop? OK, we can stop. We’re done.

And if a man makes me come, but decides to HOLD ME DOWN while I’m coming, I might hurt him. Ya know when a guy wraps his arms around the chick’s hips while he eats her pussy and uses all his force to prevent her from bucking when she comes, so he can continue to lick her and ‘drive her wild’?
Ya know what I mean?
Totally disregarding the uber-sensitivity of the clit immediately after the peak, to appear as if he’s never eaten a pussy before and doesn’t know how they work.
Restraining me ruins my orgasm and licking a fire-y clit fucking hurts.
When this happens I may smack him on his head but I usually twist to break free and ask him wtf. Because that’s a control thing right there, and that’s MY motherfucking department.
Really, stop it. Between the tease and denial and the hip hold and lick… I may never come back. Seriously.

And lastly, I HATE it when men attempt to talk powerful nasty to me during sex, like ‘yeah, you like that, don’t you?’, or they call me names like ‘my little whore’.
I must have been some Empress or Queen Bitch in a past life because yeah um… bigtime NOPE.
It hits me SO very very wrong. Why does it feel so WRONG? It’s like inappropriately, out of proportion wrong. So weird, I can’t even pretend.
I mean, no dude, you are not my ‘daddy’, and I’ve never been anyone’s ‘fucking slut’ or whatever.

That’s happened only a few times in my life a very long time ago, before I realized why I can’t stand it.
I’m the one who is supposed to be saying those words, and to have them said to me is not only gross and awkward, it’s fucking hysterical and ruins every bit of sexiness that might have been going on.
Those words feel super natural coming out of MY mouth, though. Which is why phone sex was so easy for me.
Pretty dominant behavior, right? Still didn’t put two and two together for sooo long.

I like being the do-er, indeed, and I love all the nasty and empowering types of whacked-ass play that comes along with it. I like restraining and teasing and creating memories with my man. I like inflicting JUST enough pain to make him question himself for a nanosecond and them remember that he trusts me with his safety and sanity. I like being the creator of those memories. The physical scenarios and the ones that make him aware of himself. I like ‘using’ his body when and how I want to, and then setting him free, only to have him be grateful for the experience and want more.
I love it when we both want more. It’s perfection when we both want more and we both want to give more. I love the certain sensual type of power that comes from me when I feel confident and sexy, and I love to be wanted that way.

But… I also love the intimate, gushy, super slow, eye contact, vanilla-love sex, too. I love the missionary position with eyes locked and molasses-slow movements with lots of barely-kissing and inhaling each other’s breath.
And I really like when my person makes any type of move on me… because he can’t keep his hands off me, and he knows it makes me all hot and bothered to build up the yearning I have for him. I like being the object of HIS affection, anytime and (almost) anywhere. I like being talked to during sex… I like being spoken to sweetly or told how things feel or asked something followed by ‘please’ or intimate questions.

I love clothed sensual teasing that builds up passion and then finally giving in to it. When I’m in a relationship, I can’t go a day without intimacy and the physical act of SOME kind of sex. I get angry if I don’t get it. I get angry if his sex drive can’t keep up. I get angry if his cock doesn’t work or if he is always tired. Because I insist on my intimate relationship being a HIGHLY PHYSICAL/SEXUAL one, and that means EVERY opportunity we can. It’s been this way since I was 16 and it’s not slowed down at all. Not even now, in my 50s.
But the interesting thing is that I’m perfectly fine going very long periods of time (years) without sex, when I’m not connected to a person. It’s not the mere act I yearn for. It’s the intimacy and connection with my person. I rarely even masturbate when I’m single because I don’t ‘need’ sex, and I don’t really get flustered by the lack of it.
I don’t miss it because it’s a feeling that cannot be substituted so I rub one out whenever I want to, but I never need to.
I think some people might call that maturity.

I call it being in control.
😉 ♥

Move up

Come here.
Come up by my head.
No, not there, closer, move up more.
Up more. There ya go. It’s OK, straddle my head. There ya go. Good boy.

Now move your cock out of the way and give me what’s mine.
And no, you do NOT have permission to stroke it. Just hold it and stay still.
You stroke… I bite. Understood? If you drip any precum on me… I bind you. Understood?