As odd as it seems to an outsider, male chastity and cock cages are NOW a very typical aspect of the femdom lifestyle as well as a growing community of single men who practice caste orgasm control. This article is focusing on the couples, not single men.
I’m not going to go into a history lesson, but rather deal with the here and now. If you’re a kinkster (attached or not), you probably already know about chastity, cock caging, and orgasm denial. It’s an extremely common practice among D/s relationships and playmates for a few different reasons. You can find some of those popular reasons here.
I always felt the term ‘chastity’ had such antiquated imagery around it. I would immediately think of these stories or jokes from my grandmother that I never believed actually happened, but I wanted to. Of women being ‘kept’ in these chastity belts by their fathers or fiancees until their wedding night. I had NO idea how such a female belt would even look, and I’d wrack my brain wondering how these women peed or shit or had their period, or what if it rusted or they got an infection or this or that. Finally I decided they were just stories to threaten girls not to be whores.
Anyway, we all know by now that male chastity is a very real thing and in this day and age (2020), the varieties of cock cages are too vast to mention, and they can be purchased around the globe online, as well as in physical sex shops. They’re part of typical sex store paraphernalia now, and so is the porn that goes with it.
They range from the simple basic steel cage-y type, to acrylic and silicone, to sophisticated detailed works of art, to urethral styles, to frightening tortuous metal, to belts that go around the waist onto which you can add accessories like butt plugs and piercing locks. It’s kind of a free for all on locking up men’s cocks, and if I didn’t love cock so much, I’d think that the entire world HATED them.
I am not a huge fan of long-term caging because, like I’ve said before, I love cock.
And when I’m around it and it works fine… why the fuck would I want to cage that shit up when it could be working FOR me and IN me? If anything, I’m a supporter of pumping as a ‘punishment’, attempting to make that shit BIGGER… but that’s taking me off topic.
Anyway, when I was keyholding, I had a very strong set of rules that came along with it. I created these because I know too much about physiology and psychology to allow for anything different. Most knowledgeable Keyholders have the same ideals.
Here is a blurb from my ‘Sessions’ page on my website (that is no longer public).
Key-holding (chastity devices / cock cages) for: ‘underachieving’ men, excessive masturbators, disinterested husbands of unfulfilled or jealous wives, submissives, kinksters, fembois, etc. ~ Local men only now, committed process ~
We discuss why and IF chastity is beneficial for you.
If so, we meet and I determine which device is to be worn.
We create and sign a contract which determines how often you return, I fit you, cage and lock you, keep the key (if metal) and send you home. (If metal, an emergency key will be accessible at your home but its whereabouts are known only to me and one other person of your choice.)
When your contracted release time arrives, I remove the device for the allotted time, (usually followed by a session), and depending upon your contract, may or may not place you back into chastity.
~ The devices and scheduling options for chastity are INFINITE, and new contracts can be written with each visit.
* There are numerous benefits to male chastity, but they must be thoroughly understood to achieve optimal results, so if you have a significant other, I encourage them to attend the first visit with you.
* Update: I no longer do remote keyholding for NEW clients, but will continue remotely, should an established client move away from me.
I will NOT involve myself in long-term chastity without regular 2 week removal and orgasmic release for ANYONE.
I have two hard rules that I work and play by.
1. Everyone I interact with (in any manner) MUST be over 21 AND
2. have had an IN REAL LIFE sexual relationship with a human.
That means I don’t play with virgins, I don’t play with anyone who’s only had a one night stand, and I don’t play with young men, even if they HAVE had sex (no matter how much they pay me).
The reasons for these rules is that young inexperienced minds and hearts don’t have the capability to comprehend the difference between kink fantasy, temporary scenes, role play, and how people should relate to each other in a healthy mature way.
Unless you have ‘lived and loved’, a person can’t compartmentalize the distinct differences from fantasy and reality, and those two things get muddy.
I won’t be part of someone’s introduction to a manner of relating (kink) that may encourage isolation from the ‘normal’ world and how people connect.
I will never deny any man an orgasm for more than 14 days, and that’s pushing my limit. I NORMALLY encourage an orgasm every 5 days or so, to unlocked men in general. The vanilla 5-day practice promotes prostate health and encourages blood flow and energetic movement of the reproductive system and root chakra.
And in my perfect world, if they’re wearing a cage, it should come off to be cleaned and skin can breathe once every 5 days, even if he’s NOT allowed an orgasm.
Preventing a release for more than a couple of weeks can CAUSE HARM, no matter how ‘submissive’ he wants to be. And keeping a tube on a body that’s festering god-knows-what bacteria from urine, precum and sweat, is every bit against my intention and prime directive.
Lastly, I’ll NEVER encourage the long-lasting shrinkage or nullification of anyone’s penis, no matter how much he desires it. If he want to rid his masculinity and his dick, or is intentionally shrinking it for any reason, I wish him power to his fantasy, but he’ll need to go to someone else to help him with it. Sorry dudes, but I love cock.
You must also know that the penis is a “use it or lose it” body part.
Men have many sleep/REM erections (morning wood) that the male body does for a REASON, and that is to keep it HEALTHY. To keep it WORKING. The more blood flow and stimulation it receives, the healthier, plumper, and active it will be, long into the future. When it’s healthy, it will get hard when desired, there will be functional libido, and one will experience desire.
And the opposite is true. If you prevent the penis from becoming erect, you’re risking the chance of it ‘forgetting how’ to become erect after a while. Like any body part that’s not used, it WILL atrophy. If you deny your cock ALL erections and orgasms, you’re also risking the decay of your libido, as well as future desire. I know young men don’t give one thought as to how things might be as they get older, but sometimes you should. Do you really want to do that?
If you lock it up for longer lengths of time (months and months), even if you take it out and let it breathe every so often, there’s a good chance it will change in SOME way. The risk of erectile dysfunction is real, and you might be involuntary modifying your body. I know these things from FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE, and feel all men NEED to know these risks.
I understand that certain men intentionally seek an emasculating change and intend to get ‘smaller and smaller’, but other men may not have any idea of the possible long term risks. So if you’re going to wear a cage every day, at LEAST sleep with it off more nights than not, and let your body continue its nocturnal erections. You don’t even have to be awake for your body to keep itself in shape.
I’m a HEALER. I spend years learning modalities and techniques to help people heal their bodies and hearts, and there’s no fucking way I’ll condone causing actual harm to either one. I won’t do it with caging, nor will I partake in true cock and ball torture. The latter (CBT) is a dangerous game because of the very real risk of physical long-term harm, like all kinds of awful testicular trauma or penile fracture (yes, you can BREAK your cock).
I’ll tease a cock, bind it, bite it, smack it, pull it, embarrass it and make it angry, but I’m never going to legitimately hurt it.
But, I digress.
As much as I love to play with cock, and aside from being paid to lock them up, I enjoy some cage play with my person every so often. And I use chastity as a ‘test’ in the beginning of a relationship, to see how committed he is in showing me he’s all in. It’s a VERY powerful activity and requires him to be extremely trusting and vulnerable. Especially if we won’t see each other for days or weeks.
I’ve done short-term scene cage play as well as weeks-long confinement and I feel they both have their upsides.
I personally use only two cages, and feel that’s all I’ll ever need. Though, I’ll probably end up adding a Vice at some point because of the comfort level, or maybe a Steelwerks Classic when I take caging seriously enough to spend the money. Currently, I’ve got the clear CB6000 and a silver steel grid spiderweb type cage (no idea the company).
I also have a clear CB3000s, which is the smaller design for little dicks that’s left over from client days. I have no personal need for the small one, as every man I’m with must have a decent sized cock or we’re not getting to this stage.
Hubba hubba right? oh yeah…
No really… I’m just holding on to it.
If I had to choose between plastic or steel, it would be difficult because they serve different purposes. I like the steel one for playtime, teasing, orgasm denial, and overall being sexy.
The steel one is a simple device with just two pieces aside from the lock. The metal is smooth all over and when it fits right, he still has some sensation due to his flesh being pushed out against the metal, like a sexy chain link fence. It’s delicious.
It’s super easy to get on, is easy to shower with, dries fast, and easy to remove.
* I’ve even been penetrated while wearing it just to see if I could do it.
I can, but it’s not something I’d do for pleasure.
I think it’s pretty to look at, as well. And in my opinion, this metal one is a bigger turn on for him by increasing his frustration because he see his skin and can feel just a teeny bit. And since it has an open design, his mind believes he SHOULD be able to feel more than he actually does, which makes it kind of a perpetual motion mind game cycle, so it’s a sexy fun gadget. It came with different size rings but no spacer, which is fine as it doesn’t need one.
The down side is that it’s metal. It’s a chilly and it’s a little heavy to get used to, and it’s much more difficult to disguise under clothes. Sitting down with it is not easy without the need for constant adjusting.
The tubular ones are best for longer term usage (weeks at a time), as they fit under clothes well, are lighter weight, and they tend to keep his mind off his cock better since there’s not much skin exposed (some small vents at the end and a slit on the tip to allow him to pee). It’s easy to sit with and be active, since it’s lighter and better supported against the body.
The down side is that it can be a little ‘suffocating’, and not as simple to put on (I’ve learned to use silicone lube because water-based dries too quickly). But even with lube you’re probably going to have to finagle your meat down into the tube to get it to sit perfectly. Some men swear by the sock method, but that too, has been more difficult than I’d like.
There are several pieces, but they each serve an important purpose, so you need to keep your eyes on them when cleaning or laying them out.
It’s relatively easy to get on and lock, and each cage comes with different size rings so it’s more customized to fit his nuts, as well as multiple sized spacer rings for maximum fit. Lastly, it locks together using the pin system. All these pieces help the cage fit as snug as he can handle. Just be careful not to lose any. There are a TON of sites and videos for all these things.
* Many men aren’t fitted correctly in their cage the very first time, and if this happens, he can either shimmy out of the ring easily and take the whole thing off, or he’s crammed into something too small which cuts off circulation or causes constant pain.
Make sure you use the right size, which means you have to measure. After that, it’s a practice thing, and there are a ton of sites that talk about the physical way people use them.
Personally, the idea of skin not being able to breathe all the time makes me cringe. And although most people don’t worry about that, I can’t help but be bothered by it. If his cock is crammed in the tube the way it’s intended, there is NO room between the plastic and skin. So, my mama and healer mind goes right to hygiene and health. gah
Just not enough air vents for me. However… if he CAN get water to flow all the way THROUGH the tube in some way, and perhaps move his skin around (by inserting a q-tip or something into the pee hole) to move himself away from the plastic for even a few seconds, I feel a ton better and will allow him a few days of wear before the whole things comes off for cleaning and air.
To lock a cage, you’ve got a few choices. You can use any typical little metal padlock, or you can get the plastic ‘cut-able’ disposable keys, like ones that look like flat little padlocks, or luggage safety locks, or some that are basically a zip tie.
I have men use the plastic keys when they’re not in my presence, because shit happens. Most Keyholders use these plastic ones more often, for obvious reasons.
They are lightweight and indiscreet under clothes and they can be cut through with scissors if there was an emergency.
If the concern is him taking the cage off while away and then putting it back on… these plastic keys have SERIAL NUMBERS on them, which distinguishes them from each other! Brilliant!
There’s no taking it off without cutting it, there’s no repairing a cut key, and there’s no faking a serial number. If he removes it, he gets found out and he gets punished. No need to worry.
I like the tease and denial that comes from cage play. And I like that AND the devotion and trust that comes from longer wear control.
It’s a big validation of commitment and trust for a guy to give up control of his dick. Really think about that.
If the option were as simple for women, would they do it as often? I don’t think so. And although there ARE chastity devices for women, we’re an entirely different animal with all kinds of constant feminine goings-on which prevent it from being as simple as ‘lock-up and go on about your life’.
But if it were as simple for women, I still don’t think we (women in general) would be as open to closing off our bits. I’m thinking that’s a topic for a post of its own.
In any case, whichever type of key I’m using, my main objective is to keep him healthy while the cage does what it’s on him to do, which is my decision.
Cages are both a tool and a toy depending on why it’s being used, and people are showing no signs of stopping.
Will they be this popular in ten years? No idea. But if men are physically OK, and everyone seems happier, I can’t imagine it being just a fad.
You wanna try one now, don’t you?
~ T
♥
Sexy FemDom ~ The Beauty of Control 