Clingy Men

I like my men a little shy, more soft spoken, moderately clingy and very affectionate.

I like men who are quieter but are always thinking.
I like him introverted, but never lacking confidence.
I want him to openly need me, miss me, to lean into my touch and barely be able to contain himself when he sees me.
I want him to want me, to yearn for me, and never miss an opportunity to show me.

Many women would find these traits weak or unattractive, but I find them irresistible.
♥

Tell Me

Tell Me you understand that you belong to Me.

Tell Me you understand that only I can touch you, stroke you, milk you, taste you, kiss you, fuck you, tease you, command you, nurture you, permit you, deny you, punish you, reward you, lust you, and love you.

Tell Me you understand this means any and every part of you I desire… whenever and however I desire.

Tell Me you understand that “you” means your body, your mind, your heart, and your soul.

Tell Me you understand that I am your One, your ONLY, your Goddess, your Commander, your Friend, and your Lover.

Tell Me you understand the words I’m saying to you.

Tell Me you accept the words I’m saying to you.

Now tell Me again, that you are MINE.

~ T ♥ 2015

Is He Submissive or Just Kinky?

Below is a post by the lovely Mistress Lilyana. It’s a beautifully written synopsis of her experiences with men who want to BELIEVE they’re submissive, when they’re actually just kinky. Topping from the bottom is what we call it.
I find it perfect and worthy of your attention.
Again, I repost this with gratitude. ~T ♥

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Friday, August 14, 2009
Is he submissive or just kinky?

I’ve spoken with a lot of submissive guys in the short year since I realized I’m Dominant. A lot. And I’ve spoken with a few guys who THINK they’re submissive who are really not.

Last fall I was contacted via collarme by a good looking, in shape boy in his mid thirties. In his very first email he explained his (one and only) submissive fantasy. He was looking for someone who would “own” his orgasm. Someone who would have him come over to their place, spit on him and tell him he is impotent without them. This spit should be induced by Jolly Ranchers, by the way.

I’m not kidding you.

We corresponded briefly as I tried to explore other submissive types of activities with him to gauge his interest. He flatly refused to consider anything else except strap on play to which he said, “Yes, I guess I’d be ok with you taking my ass every now and then.”

I didn’t realize it then, but when I ran across him a couple of months ago again, I instantly realized it: he simply has kinky fantasies. He is in no way submissive because he has no desire to please me, only satisfy his own kinks.

At first it was difficult to differentiate between the two, but now I can tell fairly easily. In the case of “How NOT to win my heart and earn my attention,” I suspected in the very first email that the boy was not submissive and simply entertained kinky fantasies.

The following are snippets from actual messages I’ve received that indicate a desire for fetish, not submission:

‘I am writing because you sounded open, honest, and willing to give and take. Some things you are interested in and some things I am. I also look for things that I would like to explore like queening. I look at photo’s on the internet and I would like to try it full body weight. As your actual chair. Could I really breath? Won’t know till I try. I also think about actually drinking pee. Don’t know if you are open to this or not.’

He’s managed to say “I” nine times in just one paragraph. In this first correspondence he’s telling me all about what he wants and nothing about fulfilling my desires.

‘Like I said in my first letter. I will do things for you and you some for me. I would be willing to take you places, shows, dinner, ball games, comedy clubs. Just have fun. In return you use me as your furniture, worship your body, toilet for urine.’

Oh gee thanks! He’s willing to take me places HE wants to go in exchange for me doing the things to HIM that HE desires.

On the other hand, here are messages that give me clear indication that the sender is truly submissive:

‘I have discovered that serving a stronger and more powerful Mistress is my escape and desire. I am totally compliant in her control, giving all I can to please and totally surrendering all my power to her to use in any way.’

This boy not only understands submission, he can articulate what it means to him and that is SO hot!

To me submission is mainly mental … the high end punishment is beyond what I desire. Do not get me wrong, I do enjoy spanking, nipple play, some restraints, but to me, it cannot just “be” that. Rather the emotional and mental application is far more powerful to me. I need a strong bond of attachment and am open to “anything” that brings you pleasure and delight, whether it is physical, sexual, or emotional.
I have no issue with a prospective sub verbalizing his desires and limits. I welcome it. But in this case, even when discussing his desires and limits, he’s putting my desires first.

A true submissive finds their own pleasure in pleasing their Dominant. They may have specific activities they enjoy, but pleasing their Dominant is the one thing that turns them on the most.

In my opinion, anything less is simply kinky desire.

By Mistress Lilyana

Welcome

This is an adult blog about the aspects of sensual/loving/gentle female domination and the beauty of that control. It’s about sex and feelings, opinions and info, and anything I find interesting that relates to a female-led relationship (and some that relate to ANY relationship… or sex… or whatever I’m feeling that day).
There are NO sexual images on here, however, there are some extremely explicit sexual depictions and descriptions scattered throughout. 

And being that this is mine, it’s also about me. To learn about who I am and exactly what this is, visit my About Me page.

I took a break during most of 2020 because… well… 2020. But normally I try to post once a week, and have entries going back to October 2019. So follow me to see new posts in your WP feed, or subscribe to read full posts in your email. Oh, and it’s best viewed on your computer, as opposed to your phone.
I love questions and suggestions, so please hit me up because I’ll check in often.

Thank you for visiting, and enjoy my two cents.
♥ ~ T

About Male Fantasy – Lesson 18

Below is an interesting post from Female Led University about male fantasy, which is the reason most people have such a thwarted view of dominant females, Female Led Relationships, and role play. This post is taken a little out of context, but all you really need to understand is that it was written for those who desire a true Dominant/submissive Female Led relationship. It’s directed to people who are serious about it, in hope to give them the tools to navigate this lifestyle.

A fellow ex-Tumblr, now here on WordPress. You can buy their e-book ‘Practical FLR’ by clicking these words. I quote this post (and all their content) with gratitude.
~ T ♥

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“One fundamental aspect of a female led relationship, is that it is not about male fantasy. I’ve talked about this many times throughout the previous lessons, about how mainstream portrayal of female domination is extremely skewered and biased toward male fantasy, that it is truly not an accurate depiction of what an FLR is all about. Male fantasy in fact, destroys the very idea of FLR and female domination, and I think its time someone finally said it.
So let me repeat that….
MALE FANTASY DESTROYS THE VERY IDEA OF FLR AND FEMALE DOMINATION.

It’s hard enough for women to discover their dominant side without the droves of men flocking to her asked to be dominated and all the things they’d love to do to serve her. Any woman who might be dominant-curious just got scared away by male fantasy. It instantly makes female domination weird and taboo, and it can never be normalized because of desperate male fantasy.
Do you males understand that?

You’re literally scaring women away from discovering their dominant side because they get random foot fetish weirdos breathing down their neck before they’ve even looked up the term “submissive male.” It’s an instant turn off to them, so it pushes them back to their traditional “ men suck” mindset.
Ironically, it keeps the desperate submissive males single and lonely, and it keeps the would-be dominant woman single and lonely, so thank god for video games and ice cream.
But wouldn’t it be nice to break through that barrier? Wouldn’t it be nice if sub men and dominant women could actually talk to each other as human beings and perhaps maybe get to know each other? Yes or yes?

The problem is male fantasy. Eliminate that problem, and we give birth to a whole new definition of FLR and female domination. All submissive men out there need to let go of their fantasy and ask themselves a few fundamental questions.

One of those questions is, what do I really want? The answer you’re going to find, if you’re being honest with yourself, is to submit. That’s it, that’s all. Period.
There is nothing beyond that. Drop it. There is no ‘but’. Just drop it. Does that make it a little clearer?
Your actual “ fantasy” is to submit. That’s what you truly want.

So when you meet a woman, you can talk to her like a human being, and get to know her. Perhaps when comfortable enough with her, you can explain that you’re a submissive. This will either turn her away from you, or this will be embraced. If she isn’t interested in your submission, let her go, try again.
If she is, then great, let it evolve from there. But remember, keep anything beyond your “fantasy” of needing to submit, out of this forever.

“But what about all MY fantasies?” I can hear the whiny voices I’ve never met, in my head.
Look, it’s called, female led relationship, because that’s exactly what it is. Female led. Therefore, let her lead. Let her direct you, at her pace. Eventually, communication will go to your fantasies, and you can tell her what you’re interested in, and she will then be able to consider and decide what or if, she wishes to entertain them. This is a good time to see how compatible you are with each other.

As a submissive male, you have to understand that it’s about her pleasure and her lifestyle. And it’s likely very different from the version you have in your head. You have to let it go, and actually submit to her, because that’s true submission.
You know that’s exactly what you want, even if it doesn’t match the version in your head. Let her lead you, at her pace, and she will grow and evolve and train you as she learns how to best serve her needs. It should bring you joy and pleasure, as a submissive, to serve her this way. This is what a true female led relationship is.
It’s not the fantasy you have, but it is the reality.

Male fantasy will only paralyze the vast majority of opportunities you have in the real world. It will scare women away from discovering their dominant sides, and it will keep you a lonely sub boy surfing Tumblr every night, wishing someone could accept him. It will keep a Domme wishing every night she could find a boy that she could make hers.
Male fantasy is counter productive in almost every way, except in masturbation.

It’s very disrespectful to women, reading message after message of idiotic male fantasy in their inboxes. Every single message a woman reads, that is based on male fantasy and not respect for her or getting to know her, is a wasted opportunity.
You could be perfect for each other, and your male fantasy blew it.

As I said, male fantasy destroys the very idea of FLR. “

By Female Led University